i just realized today that this is still up and going...well, i had forgotten all about msn space. lol..what to say, well, have to say goodbye to the old  chaobo...sadly, life has caught up, i can no longer be carefree and having fun at university and at home...have to find a job or go study more, :(  i am currently going with the latter, continued education, gonna drag that loan for as long as i can lol

senior year at my university, the first post on this msn space was somewhere back in high school, time really flies by, sadly, my writing has become worse over the years, as my kind friend athena pointed out to my last night...lol...gotta improve then if i wanna get into a good school and be somebody in life.  i don't have the highest goals, i guess i will take what life throws at me and just gulp it up when i can...all the movies and tv and books and ppl always say that u make ur own destiny in life, i want to believe that, but it never seems to work, when i try hard, something always come bite me in the ass, and when i don't try, everything works out anywayz...maybe someone up there is watching me ???  i donno

lately, i been watching more scary movies and shows, and no, i really really hate them, as in to the point where i can't sleep for a week after a really scary movie...but the strange thing is, i am getting this weird craving for more scary movies...maybe i am really m deep down (hope not lmao).  i don't like watching them, but the scary feeling i have after watching those movies make me feel much more alive lol  i guess its now a hobby?  wondering if i should put it into some application- hobby: enjoy torturing self and likes being tortured??? i need to seriously get over this, maybe this is one of those things in life that just goes away after a while...i really hope so, but in the mean time i rented two really really gory movies....-_____-||||||||||||| hehe

i wonder if ppl actually read this, for me, this is the place to kinda of vent and say stuff i normally won't say, but that would be good if this is anonymous, but since i have my name and email on here it really is like broadcasting stuff i won't like to say...so with that in mind, gonna take out my name and email and :( goodbye... just gonna turn this into a rant page hahahaha

Hi again, its been a while huh, lolz, i rarely post anything now or go on msn for that matter, i guess life has caught up with me...I am a wreck lolz...i guess...so much school work and stuff to do, and random ppl popping in and out of your life, and friends that call u and "friends" that don't call u unless they need help, life is like that. I used to be so naive, come to think of it, we are probably all naive until we leave the protective shell ppl put around us...its just random the kind of friends you make and the new hobbies etc you gain...like a couple of years ago i would never imagine that i would be friends with a us marine that is in iraq, or rooming with a guy from the middle east..funny where life takes us...who knows, maybe i will get into some really f***ed up s***...but so far i am safe...

so i wonder if anyone from back home will read this?  if so, HIII and sup!!!!, its been a long time and I am srry for not contacting...hey, u guys don't email me or call me either :(((((...lolz j/k anyhow, the email i check now daily is chaobo@sas.upenn.edu not this one anymore!!! and also, i tried to call u JuStiNA but somehow my calling program doesn't work anymore (everytime i call its like busy ....)and i am too lazy to write a complete email and too lazy to walk down 3 blocks to buy phone cards that work with my school phone...its a big conspiracy i think, the school phone doesn't let u dile 1800 numbers and the stand that sells phone cards on campus just happens to have phone cards that doesn't use 1800 numbers...hmmm...

i guess i am pulling away from every1 huh, ppl are like : are you dead? and answer is no.... of course, this could be a totally different person who just happens to have acess to my pwd and stuff but blahhhaha...its just how things happen i gues..: 1. leave town and go new place, call and email friends, have fun when you go back home with them 2. time pass, calls become less, still have fun when you go back home but u feel a bit of a rift. 3. almost no calls or emails or etc, go home, ppl are excited when u get back, but then its over and its hard to find ppl to hang out with..i am somewhere in between 2 and 3 i think...now there are 2 options, let it go and head to 3, or trying to get back to 1...the latter requires some effort on my part...and by all means i would like to do it, but i don't know how the other ppl will respond...(in truth, only 1 person called me here and i didn't expect her to call lolz) and there are midterms exams, other thing, friends that i need to attend to here...i wonder how my parents still keep in touch with all of their friends...psh, guess i will figure it out later huh...

i feel like i am a walking dead at the moment, life is kind of just passing by and sure, i enjoy parts of it, but i can't help but look back and think: oh yeah, that was much more fun than now...it seems that I take less and less enjoyment in things that are fun...i would hardly contribute it to the law of diminishing utility;....so if i have too much fun, then every next time i have fun i will enjoy it a bit less??? it seems true rite now..i wonder if i just remove myself from "fun" for a while, will my utility bar reset? lolz

 afaik toh imo i am just so tired :( tired tired tired lolz rofl lmao roflmao?  hmm, should i bother grammar check this or see if it makes sense...nhmmm nay XD

LOLZ. I logged on today, and I saw....1114 new email message...which kind of wasn't a surprise since i didn't check hotmail for about 7 month o.o....I just kept putting off reading all my emails....of course, out of that 1114 email message, about say 99% of that being junk mails  from w/e business newsletter, club letter, or "-----" enlargement emails.  I just totally forgot about hotmail.  It seems that I neglected this space as well..i donno, its just that somehow, it lost its appeal.   I will be going home soon, a home that I haven't seen in near half a year.  Right now, it should be well covered in a feet of gentle white snow, almost like whip cream, of course, lets not forget the occasional yellow patch (from ppl walking dogs) as well as the black chocolate sprickles (from dogs being walked) and of course, the city contributes to it all by covering the snow with a sheet of dirt (just for the fun of it).  Ahh, good old days, I remember that one time we put shopping carts in the middle of icy road...(i was just kidding, of course I would never do that).  I hear will is coming back to wpg this dec to visit...i wonder what he is like now...its been so long.  Time do pass quick...I am doing a count down to my exams right now and i am down to my last 3 days before my first exam, which happen to be open book/open notes, and the only thing that is not allowed is a computer...what i don't get is...if its open book/notes, what is that computer going to do that is so special that its not allowed...well, i guess that u can access the internet on it...but the exam isn't that hard, well, the questions (stat 101) are kind of common sense with little or no calculation, on top of that, its very similar to past exam questions which also can be brought to the exam room, well, if that person can't figure out to copy the answers or to "guess" the answers from the old questions, he can also check the notes, which is pretty much the exam questions.  After all that, its only a 2 hour exam, so if any one is going to google any answers...(believe me, i tried) its pretty hard given the time, much easier just to not study and read through the notes for the clues...and i am kind of hungry rite now o.O hunger is a good motivating force to do work, i find that i study much better when i am hungry, when i am full, i tend to want to go to sleep.  of course, i can eat just till i am satiated, but that is just too much effort, how do i know what i am partially full...anyhow, going to grab a snack + mcd + bK +kfc + cfc and w/;e my roommates have in the fridge...hehe... cya guys, miss you all, going to see ya in about 2 weeks and mooooach O>O!!!!

under construction indefinitely， well, gues i was wonrg